Forward Page 5

  Sure as shit, it is from work.

  Can you pick up a half shift from seven to eleven this morning?

  I text back that I can, because frankly I could use the money if I’m moving to London. If Tom thinks he’s paying everything for me, he’s crazy. I won’t let that happen. I’ll let his company pay for the apartment, but not my food and living expenses. That will be a fight, but I’m standing my ground on this. My apartment here is another story. I’ll have to talk Amara if I’m serious about this.

  I lean over, brushing my lips across Tom’s cheek. I feel bad waking him, but I’ll be back early and I don’t want to just leave a note. He stirs a little, rolling into me. “Tom. Wake up.”

  “Mmm. What’s wrong?” His voice is gravely, still half asleep. His eyes don’t even open.

  “I got called into work.”

  That gets his attention, and he blinks at me in the darkness a couple of times. “You said yes?” Disappointment is clearly etched on his handsome face.

  “Only a half shift. I’ll be back here by lunchtime.” I run my fingers through the soft one-day old scruff.

  “I wanted to spend the day with you.” He pouts, running his hand through my hair.

  “You will,” I chuckle. “I’ll even sleep here tonight,” I tell him, sweetening the deal.

  “Okay. I’ll meet you at hospital and we can go out for lunch and grab some stuff from your flat.”

  I kiss him again. “I like that idea.”

  “I like you,” he says, closing his eyes again.

  I lean into him. “I love you, Tom.” He smiles with his eyes closed, making him look boyish and adorable. I get out of bed and dress in the dark as quietly as I can. Sneaking into his kitchen, I grab a can of diet coke that he only keeps here for me, and throw my hair up into a messy bun.

  Popping the top of my soda with a loud crack followed by the sound of fizz, I take a sip enjoying the burn of the bubbles on my throat. Tom thinks it’s beyond gross that I drink diet coke at all hours, but I can’t stand coffee or his beloved tea, and I need some form of caffeine. Thankfully I have clean scrubs—and underwear for that matter—at work in my locker, or I’d have stop at home first.

  I may be commando now, but there is no way on God’s green fuzzy planet that I’m going sans culottes under my scrubs. Ew.

  The streets are dark, empty, and cold. Sunday morning at this hour is probably the quietest time in the city.

  Apparently not for nurses.

  It’s far too chilly and windy to venture to the bus stop, especially since it’s running on a reduced weekend schedule. I’m about to order an Uber, when a cab rounds the corner. I hail it down and jump in without thinking twice.

  I get to the hospital with forty-five minutes to spare, so I hit up the coffee shop off the lobby for a bagel before I start my shift. I’m shoving the last bite into my mouth, staring at my phone, about to walk into the locker room to change when I bump into someone. Mumbling out an apology, I look up to see a circle of med students rounding with Sue.

  On Sunday.

  Just peachy.

  “This is one of our nurses,” Sue calls out. “Lara, who was good enough to come in and help us out this morning. She’s also finishing up her masters as a family nurse practitioner, so feel free to go to her for help.” Sue gives me a knowing smile and I suppress my eye roll because she always pawns the med students onto me.

  I throw a wave, but just before I can enter the locker room, I do a double take. Levi is staring at me, but that’s actually not what stops me. He’s wearing dark rimmed glasses, a white lab coat and a stethoscope around his neck.

  What. The. Fuck?

  I glare at him. At least, I think I do. To be honest, I’m a rather unhealthy mixture of pure shock and annoyance right now. He smiles at me sweetly and it makes me want to hurl something at him—like a patient, or a gurney, anything that would hurt. I roll my eyes and head straight into the locker room.

  So now the prick is a freaking med student, and at my hospital? He could have mentioned that earlier. Though, I think I’m glad he didn’t. It’s somehow easier to find this out by surprise. Whatever, he’s a med student on rotation. I’ll hardly ever see him or interact with him. They’re only here for six weeks and are not really allowed to do too much damage here.

  I change into my matching hot pink scrubs and plain black thong, because those are the only ones in my locker. At least I have a long sleeved black shirt in here I can wear under them, because I’m freezing. Our department is always freezing balls for some reason. I pull my stethoscope out of my bag, since I always have it on me, before stuffing my personal items inside it and shoving it into my locker. The door slams shut with a rattling clang.

  “Hold on there, girl. What’s gotten into you this morning?” Olivia asks, walking in to put her stuff away before shift.

  “Med students,” is all I say, because really, this should explain everything.

  “I know, right? Fresh meat,” she chuckles. “Hopefully combined they can make up a decent-sized brain.” I laugh with her as we walk back out into the fray. We make our way over to the nurse’s station to get assignments and reports from the night staff, who only look too eager to see us.

  “Lara, thanks for coming in. You’ll totally be off at eleven, Lila is coming in then.” Cara says to me, looking exhausted. Apparently it was a long night.

  I nod. “Sure, no problem.”

  “Awesome. I gave you curtains one through three. They’re lightweight. Stomach pain that we think is gas related, Croup with underlying asthma, and a new patient has just been brought back that’s a stable rule-out MI. You also have two fourth-year med students with you this morning, so you shouldn’t have to do too much other than babysit them.”

  “Perfect,” I say with obvious sarcasm that makes her smirk. While med students eventually become doctors, they’re a total nuisance. All book, little real life. Reading about this stuff is a lot different than actually witnessing it in the flesh. I’ve definitely saved a few lives in my day from students.

  But that’s what nurses do. We keep doctors from killing their patients.

  I get the report from Ivette who had my patients before me, and then I head over to my heart attack guy first, because he was just brought back and I have no doubt that he’ll need an IV and labs to get going. He’s also going to need medication. I pull back the curtain to room three with a smile on my face. “Good morning, Mr. Sullivan. My name is Lara and I’m going to be your nurse this morning. I’m sorry that you’re with us, but we’re going to take excellent care of you.”

  His wife looks at me nervously. She’s as tall and slender as her husband is short and fat. “I told him not to eat all those sausages,” she starts in, making her poor husband groan in annoyance. I have a feeling this is not the first time she’s said that this morning. “He’s had chest pain all night, and I was finally able to convince to come here this morning.” She taps her sneakered foot as she puts her fists on her non-existent hips for further effect.

  “Loretta, give it a rest already,” he gripes at her with a thick Brooklyn accent.

  “Well, we’ll see what we can do to make you more comfortable then.” I smile as I go over to him. I get a brief history—including medications and allergies followed by vitals and a brief exam.

  Just as I’m putting the IV in his arm, the curtain is pulled back and in walks Levi, of course, and a short blonde, both rocking matching lab coats. “Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan, you are the lucky recipients of not one, but two, medical students today,” I tell them as Mrs. Sullivan gives me a weary look. “Don’t worry, they are very capable. Your main doctor is Dr. Jayden Jackson, who is one of our best. I promise, you’re in excellent hands.” I smile, patting Mr. Sullivan on the arm. I turn to the two newbies hovering in the doorway. “You both can start. I’m just putting in the IV and drawing some labs.”

  They walk in a little, but the tiny blonde thing makes a beeline right for me. “What do you mean you’re start
ing an IV and drawing labs?” she snaps. “We haven’t even spoken to the patient. How do you know what we want you to do with him?” Wow, she did not just go there with me.

  I smile at her, stand up and take two steps, closing the distance between us. “Please come with me Ms.—” I look down at her name tag, “Fitzgerald.” She huffs out a noise, but she can also tell I’m not fucking around so she doesn’t say anything else.

  I excuse myself from the Sullivans as I glare at the stupid sprite. Levi tags along as well, but has been smart enough to keep his mouth shut. We walk into the hall and I close the curtain, promising to be right back with my best smile for the Sullivans.

  She follows me like a good little puppy into the middle of the hallway when I turn on her and show this Tinkerbelle-wannabe who’s actually in charge. “Ms. Fitzgerald,” I start, leveling her with my eyes, “you are a medical student, so I will key you in on how we do things around here. First of all, you never challenge another healthcare provider in front of the patient. Ever. If you have an issue with something, you pull that person out of the room to discuss it, otherwise it breaks the patient’s confidence in us, which is a bad thing.”

  The defiant little fairy raises her chin like she’s about to mouth off, but I stop her before she can do something fatal. Like piss off a nurse.

  “Second of all, you do not get to order anything without your resident’s approval. In this emergency department, nurses have blanket orders for IVs and blood draws on certain conditions, one of them being rule-out MI’s. Are we clear on this?” I have to hand it to her, she doesn’t cower under my steady glare.

  “I believe we are, Nurse Lara,” she says, emphasizing nurse as if to point out that she’ll be a doctor one day. Her condescending attitude makes me laugh.

  “Another tip for you, Ms. Fitzgerald.” Two can play at the name game bitch. “If you ever want anything to be done for you, don’t talk down to the nurses. We can make your life fucking hell.” I hear Levi snort, so I turn my icy glare to him next.

  “Something you’d like to say Mr. Katz?”

  “No, ma’am. I respect and love nurses.”

  Asshole.

  I turn and head back into the patient’s room, ignoring his comment. They both follow behind me as Levi walks up to stand beside me. He speaks to Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan, and I reluctantly admit that he does a good job with his questions. I leave the room before either of them do, and Tink must have learned her lesson, because she thanks me before I leave.

  Better for her to learn this now, rather than later.

  I finish up checking on my little kid with Croup and asthma who will probably get discharged soon, and my abdominal pain chick that blushes with every question I ask. I walk back into the hall, directly into Levi, who seems to be waiting for me. I suppress my sigh. “Hi. I’m new here. My name is Levi Katz. You must be Lara,” he says, making me pause as heat creeps up my face.

  Those are the first words he ever said to me in our biology class senior year of high school.

  “Really, Levi? Really?” I roll my eyes, trying to seem unaffected when my gut is reeling.

  He just laughs at me, taking a step into my personal space.

  “It’s good to see you again, Lara. I can’t even tell you how much I’ve missed you,” he says quietly, and I can’t help but look into his eyes because he sounds so sincere. Regretful even. I like his glasses. They bring out the green in his hazel eyes. I hate that I like his glasses.

  “You do realize that’s total bullshit, right?”

  He shakes his head at me and is about to say something when Dr. Jay, as I fondly call him, comes walking up to us. “Lara,” Jay booms with a smile. “Are you my nurse this morning?” he asks, giving me a hug. Jay is all kinds of fun, and ridiculously sexy to boot. He’s got that whole dark skin, dark eyes, bald head thing going, and it totally works for him. We flirt playfully, but since he’s married and I have Tom, it’s just for funsies.

  “I am, but only until eleven.” I smile.

  “Damn, I feel like I never get to see you anymore.”

  I laugh. “You don’t, life of a trauma surgeon and all.” I wink. “I’ve been on nights forever. I’m just filling in this morning.”

  “Well, I’m glad you are.” He turns to Levi. “You must be the future Dr. Katz.” Levi confirms this and they shake hands. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard good things. Walk with me and tell me about our patient,” Jay says to Levi before throwing me a wink and walking off.

  “We’ll talk later Lara,” Levi calls back over his shoulder, but something in his eyes tells me that he means that as more than just parting words. It’s a freaking promise.

  7

  The rest of my morning flies by and I realize I’m kind of crushing on four-hour shifts. I step out of Mr. Sullivan’s room, who I think is having indigestion and not a heart attack, when I spot Tom laughing with some of the nurses at the nurse’s station. His hair isn’t his usual style; it looks more like he ran his hands through it after the shower. He’s dressed in a gray cashmere sweater and dark jeans, his winter coat slung casually over his arm as he leans against the counter. Basically Tom looks like he just stepped out of the pages of GQ.

  The other nurses are swooning all over his easy charm.

  He turns, spotting me watching him and gives me a big smile. “There you are.” He pushes back from the counter as I make my way over to him. Leaning down, he gives me a kiss, brushing the stray hair that fell out of my bun behind my ear.

  I look over at the clock. “You’re early,” I chastise with a smile so that he knows I’m joking.

  “I am. It took me no time to get across town.” His smile turns mischievous. “I have a surprise for you.”

  “Oh no,” I groan.

  He laughs. “You’ll like this one. Finish up and I’ll show you.” He leans down to kiss me again and I hear the other nurses simper with oohs and awws, I even catch a few, how sweet’s.

  I laugh and throw them all my worst glare, which they proceed to cackle at like a bunch of old cats. Turning back to Tom. I look up into his playful blue eyes. “I need like fifteen minutes, okay?”

  “Of course, I’ll just keep myself busy while you finish.” He gives me another kiss in front of the whole damn department, apparently feeling the need to continue the PDA.

  I laugh, pushing him away. As I turn back towards my new patient in curtain two, I see Levi staring at me. His expression is unreadable, but it doesn’t make me feel any less uncomfortable.

  Nothing like getting caught kissing your new lover in front of your old one.

  I’m not good with this. Levi being in my life. Not good with it at all.

  Not good with him following me and touching me and talking to me and bothering me at work. I don’t know how to handle this. I hate that he’s near Tom. I should tell Tom about Levi being here. I really need to do that, but I don’t know how. I’ve never told Tom directly about him, only abstractly, when we had the requisite ex’s conversation. Realizing I’m having these thoughts while still looking at Levi, I shake my head to snap myself out of his gaze before someone—like Tom—notices where my eyes are.

  I run into the locker room because I’m done with all of my patient care and I’m just waiting on the nurse who’ll be taking over my patients. Mercifully, it’s empty in here and I lean against the lockers, closing my eyes and trying to catch my breath. It feels like I just ran a marathon. The metal is cold against my back, sending a shiver down my body.

  “You hiding in here from him, or me?” Levi’s voice breaks my silence. Shit. Why can’t he just give me space? All I need is space.

  “Please leave me alone, Levi.” My voice is weak, and I cringe inwardly because I want to sound strong. In control.

  “I need to talk to you, Lara. Please,” he adds. “Just have dinner with me so I can explain everything.”

  I shake my head, my eyes still closed. “I’m not having dinner with you.”

  “Fine then, coffee,
whatever, I don’t care. I just need fifteen minutes of your damn time.” He’s getting frustrated and I’m fine with that. I feel him edging closer to me. “Lara, open your eyes and look at me, baby.”

  “I’m not your baby anymore, Levi.” I do open my eyes, but only so I can show him just how pissed off that cheesy endearment made me. “Do not call me that ever again.”

  He sighs, running his hand through his hair. He does this when he’s frustrated or nervous.

  Right now, I’m getting the impression he’s both. “I’m sorry, okay? It just came out.” Levi takes another step towards me, so close he practically has me caged in against the locker. If someone came in right now, this would look bad. “I have so much to tell you. So much,” he whispers the last part as he inches towards me. His breath rushes over my face. Hazel eyes rake over my face, begging me to listen. To hear him. “What can I do to get you to talk to me?”

  I shake my head, scrunching my eyes closed again. “It’s been seven years. We were just kids when you left. Things have changed. I’ve changed.”

  “We were kids, but it doesn’t make what we had any less real. I’ve missed you every fucking day.”

  I open my eyes to look at him, and he’s even closer. So close I see the flecks of brown and green in his eyes.

  “You bastard.” I push him back, and thankfully he takes a step giving me the space I need. “You think you can show up after all this time and tell me that you’ve missed me when you’re the one who left?” I shake my head, stepping towards the door. “If you missed me so much then you shouldn’t have disappeared,” I yell the last word and instantly regret it. If someone is near the door, then they would have heard me.

  “I didn’t have a choice. You think I wanted to leave you?” He shakes his head in earnest, pacing around in a small circle, but never removing his eyes from me. “Never.”

  I have no idea what that means. I also don’t have any more words, so instead I turn away from him and rush back out into the chaotic hallway. I spot Lila and I swear I’ve never been so happy to see the bitch in my whole life. I give her my report, ignoring her snide comments about Tom being back in the patient area. Heading back into the dreaded locker room, I change quickly, thankful that I haven’t seen Levi since I left him standing in here.